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When one estrangement has arisen between those who truly love each other,
everthing seems to widen the breach.
~Mary Elizabeth Braddon~
AWAKENING
A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks, and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out -- ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears, and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming, and you are not Cinderella. That in the real world there are not always fairy tale endings -- or beginnings for that matter. You realize that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact you are not perfect, and not everyone will always love, appreciate of approve of who or what you are -- and that is OKAY. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
In the process you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in doing so find a sense of new born confidence and self approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they do to you, or didn't do for you, and you learn the only thing you can truly count on is the unexpected. You learn not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. As a result, you learn to stand on your own, and to take care of yourself. In the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers. You begin to accept people as they are, and to over look their shortcomings. In doing so, a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You begin to realize much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of the messages and opinions that had been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the garbage you have been fed about how you should behave. How you should look, act, feel, or react. You take a long hard look at what you want to be, who you want to be, what you should expect of a marriage, and the importance of raising loving, secure happy children.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you have outgrown, or ones that should never have been brought into the equation to begin with. In the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility. You learn the importance of setting boundaries and how to say NO. You learn the only cross you have to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
You learn about love. Romantic love, and familial love. You learn how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You lean not to project your needs or feelings onto a relationship. You learn you will not be more beautiful, intelligent, lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm, or because of the child that may bear your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are, and not as you would wish them to be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn just as people grow and change, so is it with love. You learn you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just to make you happy, and that "alone" does not have to mean "lonely."
You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact you will never be a size five or a perfect ten. You stop trying to compete with the image you have created inside your head, and you stop agonizing over how you "stack up." As a result you stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly okay, and it is your right to want things, and sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you should not settle for less. You allow only the hands of a spouse to glorify you with their touch, and in the process you internalize the meaning of self respect.
You learn your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. Fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so take more time to laugh and play.
You learn, for the most part, you get from life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life is a self fulfilling prophecy. You realize anything worth achieving is worth working or fighting for. Wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.
No one person can do it alone, and it's okay to risk asking for help. The only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. Learn to step right into and through your fears, knowing that whatever may happen you can handle it. To give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
Cherish your life and do not squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. Life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve. Sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions do not personalize things. Instead believe God isn't punishing you, or failing to answer your prayers. It is just life happening, and learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: The Ego.
Begin to understand negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. Admit when you are wrong. Learn to build bridges instead of burning them or building walls. Be thankful and take comfort in many of the simple things we often take for granted. Things millions of people can only dream about, such as a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, or a long hot shower. Slowly, you will begin to take responsibility for yourself, promising not to betray yourself, and to never, ever settle for less than you know you deserve. Hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. Make a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side, take a stand, take a deep breath, and begin to design the life you want to live and live it the best you can.
~Unknown Author~
This webset page was assembled on Wednesday August 15, 2007 by Shads with graphics from ShadsCreations using one of the many auto-scripters available at Chat_Central_Gateway All rights reserved KENDOC 2005 | | | | | | | | |
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